Y2K SURVIVAL GUIDE 

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Y2K menu -- eat, drink and be merry

By Scott Perry
Editor

Worried about feeding the family should the Y2K bug run amok? Well, you may have to digress a bit to the hunter/gatherer mode, but you shouldn't have to look too far for sustenance. As a matter of fact, you may not have to look any farther than your own driveway.

While you're out scavenging for a bite, here are a few ideas to make your feast or famine days a bit more palatable:

 

Breakfast

Here, kitty, kitty...

Sail-Cat Cakes
Take two flatter-than-a-flitter felines,
warmed over the griddle for a purrrfect way to start the day.
Add a side of sidewalk-baked, bike-flattened night crawlers for a protein-rich beginning.

 

Lunch
Black Beak Soup
And you thought eating crow was dishonorable!

 

Hot Dog
Man's best friend, with spicy mustard.

 

Chilly Dog
Same as above, with Cool Whip®

 

Club Sandwich
Catch it, club it, cook it, eat it!

Big Mack
Just pull it outta the grill

 

Woodchuckwagon
100 percent USDA groundhog

 

Dinner

Appetizers:

Possum on the half shell
One whole possum, one-half turtle

 

BBQ Bat Wings
Spicy, extra spicy, hairy

Calimarmot
Ring around the rodent!

Entrees

Lame Duck and Cover
Hoppin fresh from the oven, on a bed of feathers.

 

John Deer
Your momma always said to eat a green (and yellow) thing!

 

Creamed Beef
Forget the chicken, why did the cow cross the road?

Hare Apparent
It probably was a rabbit, once, maybe.

 

Pheasant on the Glass
With windshield wiper fluid gravy

 

Desserts
Pail 'o Snail
Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside

 

Neopolecat
What's black and white and red all over?

 

The Bees' Knees
Honey-coated, naturally

 

Moo Pies
Udderly fantastic!

 

-- Illustrations by Clyde Pack